Okay. Today’s article will be a little more controversial than what I am used to writing. But the thing is, I need to get this off my chest. There are so many things influencers say about Korean boyfriends that aren’t true. Or, at least they are extreme generalizations that I have found to be false. So, I’m here to set the story straight.
Influencers Talking About Korean Boyfriends
Because the Korean wave is very big, a lot of people have become famous on social media because of the fact that they are ex-pats living in the country of K-pop – South Korea. The thing is that many times the influencers that become popular aren’t exactly representative of the diverse foreign population that actually lives here.
The Typical Foreigner Isn’t an Inssa
Less than 5 percent of Korea’s population was not born in Korea. Then, of that 5 percent, around thirty-five percent are actually people of Korean descent who were born abroad. Plus, over half of foreigners in Korea are from China, Vietnam, and Thailand. So, when you see, let’s say, a white American talking about how dating in Korea is for foreigners you aren’t exactly getting a representative sample. First, they aren’t the typical foreigner. Secondly, they’ve probably just dated one or two Koreans out of literal millions.
Add to this, the fact that most popular influencers sugarcoat everything. After all, appealing to K-fans’ fantasies is generally what makes them popular in the first place. Sometimes, they describe the country as a stereotype and I find myself wondering if they actually do live here. I am so tired of people taking one thing an influencer said and making it out to be the whole truth of this country.
Korean Boyfriend Stereotypes
Korean Boyfriends Buy Gifts
I recently stumbled upon an Instagram influencer that had a video titled “three things your Korean boyfriend will do if he really loves you”. The first thing was: will give you gifts and send you money.
Now, don’t get me wrong. Koreans actually tend to show their affection through small gifts. My boyfriend is obsessed with being the only one to pay for our food. And, I recently stopped arguing with him, knowing that it would not be possible for me to win over that. So yes, sometimes your boyfriend will show you his affection through gifts or money.
But not all people have the means to do so. This girl I know is dating a guy who works and has enough to make a living. However, he also has part-time jobs so that he can help his parents pay for rent. Because of his family’s financial hardships, he didn’t have enough money to buy gifts or pay for both of them on dates. Korean men are not all rich – surprise!
Especially between more modern couples, men don’t always pay for everything. It varies a lot by couple.
So no, unless you are dating someone who is good in the economic aspect of their life, they will not give you money. They will not shower you with Louis Vuitton or Gucci. Sometimes your Korean boyfriend will give you gifts, and sometimes he won’t.
Korean Boyfriends Text Constantly
The second stereotype that always comes up is that he “will text you all day, every day”. This may be true for some Korean people – especially a couple that is between a Korean guy and a Korean girl. It is a way to show their affection: be worried about how you are doing and how your day has been. But, for example, my boyfriend doesn’t text me all day.
He is aware that I am not a good texter. And, that I also am very busy during the day –and he is too. So, we will text only after school. If he doesn’t say good morning I do not panic thinking he doesn’t like me anymore, because we understand life is hectic.
Overall, I think that it is a matter of trust and how extroverted your Korean partner is. If the two of you trust each other, there really is no need to be constantly sending texts. Also, if your partner is more introverted, this can be a huge burden on the relationship.
Don’t Be the Stereotyper
Posts like that one make me angry. It is because of people misinforming others, that the conception of Korea and life abroad is so romanticized. So many people come here unprepared for the reality of life as a foreigner here. It is extremely dangerous especially when it comes to relationships as many foreign women become victims of mental and physical abuse.
Not everything is perfect when living abroad, and Koreans are people. What they show in dramas is not reality. Sometimes you will not encounter people with good intentions –as is the case with everywhere in the world.
So please, do not take the things you see on social media as the whole truth. And, if you are planning on moving anywhere abroad, do extensive research. Everywhere has good points and bad points. So, don’t get false ideas about paradise that could crush you the moment reality hits.
Want more insight into what dating in Korea can be like? Click Here for more!